What do you do when the world you know, love, and are extremely comfortable in suddenly starts crumbling? Well, after crying out to the Lord, apparently you start a blog? I have been considering starting a blog for some time now, initially to chronicle my struggle with trusting the Lord to wait to get engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years. How quickly things change! Now that that relationship is behind a closed (slammed, locked, and barred) door, I'm beginning to see all the wonderful things the Lord has been wanting to teach me that I've been ignoring the past 2 years because I was too wrapped up in a boy's love to notice the God of the universe chasing after me. To try and write all the lessons the Lord has shown me over the last 4-5 weeks would take too much time and would be so long that no one would want to read it, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet.
Basically God has shown me that He is far stronger than what I tend to believe. To be able to go through every day feeling His comforting arms around me is indescribable. To open His Word and feel His peace surrounding me or to listen to a song and hear His promises is humbling. For my first reaction to a broken heart to be to cry out in thanksgiving to God makes me realize the strength He bestows on us through His Holy Spirit. He longs to draw us to Himself while we're in the depth of our weakness. How can our God, the Creator of the universe and King of all Kings want to love me, teach me, draw me closer to Himself? There is absolutely nothing in me worth redeeming, especially after the way I've ignored Him, run away from Him, and put so many other things before Him. Yet He still redeems me. He picks me up out of the dirt I've been living in, cleans me off, clothes me in His whitest clothes, and wipes every tear from my eye, promising His ways are better than mine and that He is more than worthy of all my trust.
Hosea 13:4-6 says "But I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt. You shall acknowledge no God but me, no Savior except me. I cared for you in the desert, in the land of burning heat. When I fed them they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me." When I read this verse, I knew that I was Israel. The Lord has provided for me in countless ways in the past, but when I am satisfied and things are going well, I forget Him. How can He even want to bring me back to Him at this point? Praise His name, His love is unconditional and eternal. He is a jealous God who will not be ignored or pushed aside to worship another. He will get the glory and worship He deserves, and will turn your life upside down in order to do so. If you had told me 2 months ago that I would be single again, thankful for it, and able to list 20 reasons why the relationship was wrong for me, I would have definitely laughed at you. That seemed impossible. Yet the Lord in His unwavering goodness and grace has brought me to that point. It is definitely a daily struggle not to succumb to the devil's attempts to make me believe I am not worth it or good enough to ever be loved again, but when the Lord is on your side, you know the stupid devil has already been defeated. I am looking forward to the weeks and months ahead. Though I know many tears and dark days are in store, I also see the light that only the Lord can provide, bringing me hope and excitement and pure joy. It shines far brighter than any of the darkness satan can throw at me. Praise the Lord, He has already won and we fight from a place of victory, knowing our God reigns.
There is so much more to say and praise Him for, but I guess I'll save it for another time. Please remember that this blog has been started as way for me to chronicle the lessons the Lord brings to me through this time. These thoughts are personal, and I risk making myself very vulnerable, so please respect that. I pray that the Lord will use His word and His lessons that are being revealed to me to help others going through similar struggles.
I Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."
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