Sunday, May 30, 2010

Culture of Distraction

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to lose your focus on things? Maybe its just me, but I have not been able to focus on anything lately, especially school (which is quite unfortunate). There are always so many other things to do that are more entertaining and appealing than learning about the sympathetic nervous system or the pathology of inflammation. I know, it sounds difficult to find something more fun than that. Trust me, it's possible. So, this got me thinking, how many times do I try to find something more entertaining and appealing than following God?

In the book Crazy Love, Francis Chan explores how much our God loves us yet how hard we run away from it most of the time. I absolutely love this book, you should read it. In the first chapter, he says "In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him." When I first read that, my defenses went up immediately. 'I don't have to remind myself of God, He's always on my mind.' Then I started thinking about it and realized that that is unfortunately very far from the truth. I consistently, daily let numerous things distract my attention from the Lord including school, friends, and family. I look back and see how grossly distracted I was when I had a boyfriend, and praise God that He rescued me from that. I had made that relationship my god, completely disregarding the fact that our God will not be ignored or made second best.

"But I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt. You shall acknowledge no God but me, no Saviour except me. I cared for you in the desert, in the land of burning heat. When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me." Hosea 13:4-6

When times are hard, it's easy to turn to the Lord because we know He'll come get us out of the mess we've made for ourselves. However, it's when times are easy, when nothing is really challenging the lives we've made for ourselves, that seems to be when it's also easiest to get distracted. We begin to fill ourselves with all the pleasures of this world, nonchalantly turning our backs on the Lord who has brought us out of our own Egypts. It isn't a conscious choice, more of a decision to follow passively instead of actively. If we were to use the "swim upstream" analogy, most of the American church is floating downstream. We want to swim against the current, but that is really difficult and exhausting, so we become content to just float along, allowing the river to take us wherever it goes. . Sadly, most of the time that river takes us further and further away from the passionate pursuit of our God. All credit for this thought goes to Francis Chan, page 95 of Crazy Love

But, no matter how far we float away from Him, God will not let us go. He always comes back from us, rescuing us from the currents of idolatry and greed and everything else we let overtake our minds. Like Paul wrote in Romans "[nothing] else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." God will not let us go Thanks Matt Redman no matter how hard we run from him or pursue other things. There is nothing worth saving in us, yet God looks past our dirt, seeing only His righteousness covering us, and steps in to save the day. Meaning us. From ourselves. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty glad I serve a God who passionately pursues us despite our worthlessness and filth. I'm so grateful that He wants to overwhelm us with His crazy love.

"The wildest part is that Jesus doesn't have to love us. His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn't need me or you. Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance (Ephesians 1:18). The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time." Francis Chan, Crazy Love

Thursday, May 6, 2010

It's the little things

In all the craziness that is life these days, it's really easy to focus on all the huge things happening and miss the small blessings that God brings, like a best friend. I've been acutely reminded of the importance of such a relationship the past couple of days. Who else can you completely be yourself with other than a best friend? She won't care if you eat raspberry sherbet straight out of the carton or still can't figure out how to cook rice right. She doesn't judge you when you need to watch Monsters, Inc. after a scary movie before you can sleep, or when you always have to have dessert after dinner. She has a crazy way of getting you to do a lot less homework, but still become better for it. She lets you watch college football all day long on Saturdays in the fall, and even digs out an old radio so you can listen to the Alabama game when Charter's on the blink again (even though she's an avid Auburn fan). She does crazy things like put on all the accessories she can grab in your room including a swim cap, or walk out on the porch in a towel wrap to check the weather. No matter the gravity of a situation, she can always find the joy in it, and has an uncanny ability to always make you laugh. She is so strong and independent, yet gracious in accepting help when she finally realizes she needs it and that you're not going to leave her alone until she takes it. She thinks tanning oil works as well as sunscreen and can't work an ironing board or a phonebook despite being a genius. She can work a map like a champ though, which will save your butt when you travel in Europe with her. She says all these off-the-wall sayings expecting you to know exactly what she's talking about ("know what I mean, Vern?") when I'm pretty sure she and her grandma are the only people in the world who know what they mean. Even though you know she's strong, she surprises you daily with the grace and elegance with which she accepts every trial that is thrown her way. You're both so much alike that it almost doesn't make sense that you could be best friends, yet you can't imagine being closer with anyone else. All you can do is sit back and praise the Lord that He shows us His love through best friends, and that He was gracious enough to give this one to you. You've already encountered and conquered many many adventures together, especially over the past 6 months, but apparently another 6 months are coming and thankfully, you get to face them together. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Firehose

A lot about life right now seems a tad overwhelming. On our first day of PT school in January, one of the second years warned us that this whole first year we'll feel like we are standing in front of a fire hose turned all the way up when all we wanted was a sip of water. They were definitely right. At the time, I didn't realize that the Lord intended for my fire hose to blast across every aspect of my life, shaking up the world I had haphazardly built for myself. (Praise the Lord that He saves us from ourselves!) In the midst of the inundating blast that has been the past few weeks, He refreshed me this morning with a "nice walk" through the 23rd Psalm (a "walk" according to Dr. Platt. I was still scribbling furiously trying to write down all the amazing truths presented). It's probably my favorite sermon ever, mainly because I could see the Lord looking directly at me, reminding me that He is greater than anything I could ever fear. You should listen to it.

After his family, crops, animals, and property have all been taken from him, Job says, "The Lord gives and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (1:21). Now come to Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Dr. Platt said that most of the time, our struggles are a result of lack, but God our Father promises here that He will provide for us always. "I shall not want." Ever. Though He does take away, God never stops giving. He just gives to us in different ways, ways that He knows are best but that we don't always recognize. In the midst of great pain, He gives peace. In the midst of sadness, He gives joy. In the midst of hurt He gives comfort. Out of His great goodness, He never stops giving to us, but in my selfishness I look for the wrong gifts. I have to stop staring in shock at the gap left by what He's taken away, fearing that it may never be filled. Instead, I focus on Him, allowing Him to come and fill that hole as only He has the power to do.

Our God comes to us when we are in the depths of our valleys, longing to draw us into Himself and raise us up in our weakness. In His great mercy, He keeps giving to us, leaving us nothing to fear. And He doesn't just give to us, He leaves us completely satisfied yet longing still for more of Him. Eventually, we will be restored and strengthened (told you I love I Peter 5:10), but until He says its time for that, we rejoice in the valley for He is with us, surrounding us with His loving arms where we are safe and fulfilled. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow.
For I will be with thee, thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress."

Never thought I'd be a blogger...

What do you do when the world you know, love, and are extremely comfortable in suddenly starts crumbling? Well, after crying out to the Lord, apparently you start a blog? I have been considering starting a blog for some time now, initially to chronicle my struggle with trusting the Lord to wait to get engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years. How quickly things change! Now that that relationship is behind a closed (slammed, locked, and barred) door, I'm beginning to see all the wonderful things the Lord has been wanting to teach me that I've been ignoring the past 2 years because I was too wrapped up in a boy's love to notice the God of the universe chasing after me. To try and write all the lessons the Lord has shown me over the last 4-5 weeks would take too much time and would be so long that no one would want to read it, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

Basically God has shown me that He is far stronger than what I tend to believe. To be able to go through every day feeling His comforting arms around me is indescribable. To open His Word and feel His peace surrounding me or to listen to a song and hear His promises is humbling. For my first reaction to a broken heart to be to cry out in thanksgiving to God makes me realize the strength He bestows on us through His Holy Spirit. He longs to draw us to Himself while we're in the depth of our weakness. How can our God, the Creator of the universe and King of all Kings want to love me, teach me, draw me closer to Himself? There is absolutely nothing in me worth redeeming, especially after the way I've ignored Him, run away from Him, and put so many other things before Him. Yet He still redeems me. He picks me up out of the dirt I've been living in, cleans me off, clothes me in His whitest clothes, and wipes every tear from my eye, promising His ways are better than mine and that He is more than worthy of all my trust.

Hosea 13:4-6 says "But I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt. You shall acknowledge no God but me, no Savior except me. I cared for you in the desert, in the land of burning heat. When I fed them they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me." When I read this verse, I knew that I was Israel. The Lord has provided for me in countless ways in the past, but when I am satisfied and things are going well, I forget Him. How can He even want to bring me back to Him at this point? Praise His name, His love is unconditional and eternal. He is a jealous God who will not be ignored or pushed aside to worship another. He will get the glory and worship He deserves, and will turn your life upside down in order to do so. If you had told me 2 months ago that I would be single again, thankful for it, and able to list 20 reasons why the relationship was wrong for me, I would have definitely laughed at you. That seemed impossible. Yet the Lord in His unwavering goodness and grace has brought me to that point. It is definitely a daily struggle not to succumb to the devil's attempts to make me believe I am not worth it or good enough to ever be loved again, but when the Lord is on your side, you know the stupid devil has already been defeated. I am looking forward to the weeks and months ahead. Though I know many tears and dark days are in store, I also see the light that only the Lord can provide, bringing me hope and excitement and pure joy. It shines far brighter than any of the darkness satan can throw at me. Praise the Lord, He has already won and we fight from a place of victory, knowing our God reigns.

There is so much more to say and praise Him for, but I guess I'll save it for another time. Please remember that this blog has been started as way for me to chronicle the lessons the Lord brings to me through this time. These thoughts are personal, and I risk making myself very vulnerable, so please respect that. I pray that the Lord will use His word and His lessons that are being revealed to me to help others going through similar struggles.

I Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."